Greetings for the blog . Just mind my english since i'm not shakespere or jkrowling . So many things happen this year of 2012 . And it is so tiring , I don't know how i will go through in the year 2013 . Jokingly I hope it's not the END of the world . I am paranoid about it  . 'cause i didn't do much in my life as i know that I want to do so many good thing in my life that I never do . I just hoping to be given more chances to fulfill my life. 

I realize so many things this year . Because I starting to read novels and really it opened my mind about life . 

I'm going to give a brief or short stories of my life in 2012 :

The first experience of doing a real job at an event for 1 or 2 week . that was really tiring but i have to work because i have to buy a new phone on my own and it was very stressful.

nothing really happen during waiting result for my spm , it was restless months 'cause you all know that how worried you are waiting for how your future will turn out to be. and it was really devastating result. I never showed it to anyone . But in the same time i was happy because I did not fail. I know why it turnout like that because of how i studied for spm it's really the match for my result. 

I didn't get into any college or any course that can shortened your way to university . I am feeling really bad to myself . but yeah, I went to my only choice Form 6 which is senior high school. But I do met many new friends that are really good . and my way of study is really changing and mu grades really increasing slowly . I am really happy with the change . I think since I went there I change a lot . 

I had a crush on some people but not many . I am really taking caution for myself this year . I don't want to hurt myself but I did it again so I only know what happen . It  really hurt me so much I don't know how to explain but then from the start also I knew I'm going to hate this person for no reason at first but as time goes by the reason finally popped up . So I am just really happy that I'm not that into deep at him . Thank God .

And I just slightly had a crush on this person , and who know who and what happen is only my friend just you know who he is the touch crush . But can I just feel being loved just once ? by an opposite sex obviously . But I really appreciate form the same sex which is my bestfriend XD. LOVE YOU ALL . I just want to feel it . you know . I am a really passionate about love so don't be surprise .

I did cry a lot this year but not as much in 2011 . And why is that , because of my parents . Maybe I'm wrong but this is how I feel within my family . I just felt that I was treat differently form others DIFFERENTLY you can know how from the word I highlighted . They just don't understand and don't see how many times I gave them hints that I just being like this because of this and so on. But then I just ended up hurting myself . To tell you all the truth about me this is it :

- I am really sensitive person so be careful with me 

- You can hurt me easily without you knew that happen . But if that happen sometimes it's not your fault it's just me.

- I can't trust a person easily . so from the person I really trust is only 30% . but don't be sad that's the highest I can give . Because I've been hurt mentally too many times. Since I was a kid. MENTALLY. not physically .

- I remember every details about good and bad things that happen to me. so again be careful not to make the mistake again. because I remember . 

- I'm a really loyal type . So If i really like a thing or a person I really attached to them . I never cheat. But I never let things I like or person I like easily I going to give a 100% or more to get or keep them . 

- Once I hurt I remember it and I will forget but I can forgive but not that easy , my friends know it . Because if I treat it the way I do usually it will not feel the same again . and it's not good .

- So I rather choose to runaway many times and it was not good my friend , but for me it's who I am . If you want to change that then help me . 

- I cry easily because crying the only thing that can help to relive the pain at the time . so cry if you want do not hold it . 

- I don't like being suffocate because I just experience it lately and it hurt so much . I want to cry at that time but it's not the right time , so I hold it so much that I can feel my head is going to burst and my body is fragile like I can break at any time.

- I get really upset easily about my physical . So bad that I cry so hard . ( Fat , not pretty face ok )

- I really love my friends a lot and no one can change them . and I rather hurt myself than seeing them hurt by me , so it's really hard but it's worth it . and i'm not fakers . So don't worry . Just please understand me more  I APPRECIATE IT A LOT . to let you know if you understand me more . 

- I love animals , kpop , music , arts , novels,  and things that can clam me down .

- things i take care a lot is my hair . ruin my hair I ruin your life ! *just kidding .

- I am very shy and might ended up hurting other 'cause they don't know. But I don't make awkward situation I don't like awkward . 

- I like blue color .

- I like to take things slowly . So I don't like to be pushed so hard . If I want to do it then I do but If I don't but I must do it it'll take time . 

- I liked to be lead by someone or I'm not the leader type so i prefer someone take the lead.

- I prefer place that not much people live in it . But I can adapt to a different situation easily or slowly .

- I'm not hard to handle 

- One day or at the time I'm not talking much it doesn't mean that I was upset over something maybe I was busy with my imagination so please don't be upset over that . 

- I am very patient person . Only if I am willing to wait . But you'll be very surprise by how much patient I am .

- I can not talking for a long long long time. Maybe people around me might think that I'm disabled person . but that if I don't want to talk .

- I don't show off much as a person . It doesn't worth it. I keeping things a lot to myself. I prefer other person to find out themselves about me .

- I'm a good listener . I don't know how good I am but you can use me .

- I don't like people who curse a lot . 

- I don't explain things well so It means that I don't talk well . Many people get mad at me when I can't explain things the want to know but I know . But they don't believe me . It's very upsetting .

- I sometimes likes being childish but in the right time, and i like children a lot !

This is it . you can believe this 100% . this is the first time I exposed myself openly about me . So read it properly . Then maybe you will know me well then before . For the people that knew me already . Have fun reading it . I appreciate it a lot . 

In the year of 2013 I will live silently . I want a normal life. Get up in the morning , eat breakfast , go to school, went home, study at night , watching kpop , sleep and dream . This year many times I let myself down . I was very upset about it why can't I be like my sister . everybody like her . she's a bright person . Maybe I deserve this . because I did bad thing in my past life . 

HAVE A GOOD 2013