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People call me Fera. I like kpop esp my husband Kim Myungsoo . I love reading romantic novels. I'm 1994 I'm a bit shy but as long as you know me I'm the person you can lean on.

today something came out from my mind... ' oh, she changed ' . I don't know if I should be happy about this but it makes me think that it doesn't feel right. She has change a lot since the mid-year . Maybe SPM is nearing so people may change . But I'm afraid that I will be uncomfortable around her anymore. I'm afraid that will happen. Do I have to change for her to match up with her? do I have to be like her? . That thing... it showing up... when people change ... she sit seperately from me, maybe she thinks that no use to sit with because I'm a jerk who only knows play than study. If she feel that way , what do I have to do, Do I need to change? did myself right now may lead you to disaster that you will not get straight A's at SPM, if you do feel that way , maybe I should be the one to get away from you. You feel happy right when you sit next to a smart, brilliant, genius, hardworking person. compared to me , for me now I just don't care about SPM anymore. I don't know why I feel this way. Maybe I have no direction for my future. You seem so far away from me when I see your back. It feel hurt inside. It feel so hard to reach you. For me, we are two very different people that cannot match togather. We were so close togather back then. But now... it changes, maybe you should not care about me , because I'm not your future, if lost me you can find a better friend that will lead you to a good life . not me . I hope you're not reading this. I don't you're the one to hurt. So please if you read this.... forgive me. back to top?

OMG OMGAH!!!! I don't think I can think straight!!!!! THE MV IS OUT! do you know what it means out????? IT"S OUT!!!!!!!!. Ok i'm link it now.


THEY ARE SO PERFECT! hehe back to top?

14 july.... that day a friend save her last phone credit to sms after she saw a full moon and I saw it to. when she said 'Fera.. (she type my name) , this is my last credit... if you saw the full moon.... remember our friendship,ok.... so,tonight is the first month... I always hang out with my friend when the full moon appeared....'
this what she sended to me. she said that only two friend that she sms when she saw full moon tht day,it was me and her other best friend that I don't know. and when the time I recieved the sms... I felt appreciated, moved,happy an some sad just a little because I think that will this happen again or maybe the first and the last. I just want to cry at that time but my mom driving beside me, so... what comes in my mind that time is ' are we looking at the full moon at the same time? is she thinking of me when she looked at the full moon? does this friendship will last forever? . She's just a new student and only two or more she had been to my school.And our friendship has been this close. Honestly, when I first met her, I tought she was arrogant,uncomunicative person. But I'm wrong. When you get close to her, she was so unerstanding,brave,helpful,cheerful and so many good things around her personality. And we also have many similarities. So it easier to get closer. I felt like she's been two or more year we've been bestfriend.

This is the first the in my life that I recieved such a meaningful , valuable and unforgettable sms. I should give more. Maybe she always do this with her old friend. But for me it's very meaningful. As I recieved the sms , and read it, I looked at the full moon and thinking that this is what it means... Friendship.


 p/s: thank you friend back to top?

it feels hurt a lot right now...

maybe because I cannot be with him... and when he appeared in front of me, I just feel that I'm not the one for him, it hurts me a lot ... better he don't know I have a feeling towards him also everyone cannot know what I feel towards him. someone asked me 'if he want to have relationship with you, do you accept it?' then I say 'no...'. I did this because this will never happen and must not happen. It's good for him and me. people around me said that they always meet him, say Hi to him and even be friend with him ... strangely it hurt when I saw all the things happen in front of my eyes even though it just good to leave it that way... . when I say to my friend that I just like him like I like a celebrity , it's not true ... i think i just fall in .... with him. this is not right, this will hurt me more.


I just feel hurt right now...

should i just leave it like this?...

p/s: I love him. back to top?